of things that matter most

Oh my heck, has it been my turn to post for nearly 2 weeks?! big oops!  The ridiculous thing is I've had this post in my head for at least that long, I've just had family in town and what-not and time passed me by.  Anyway...

My dad sent me this movie a while ago.  It was a great reminder during the everyday drudgery (and joy!) of raising hooligans.  It helped me remember just how wonderful the little souls I have in my care really are and made me want to try just a bit harder to see that in the day-to-day. It made me (all teary-eyed) remember where I've come from and whence I'm going.  As an added bonus, the cinematography is super-cool! Enjoy!

"We would do well to slow down a little, focus on the significant, lift up our eyes, and truly see the things that matter most."
~Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Marriage and Kids

Because this blog nailed it on the head for me, I couldn't NOT share it.

Click here: Marriage with Toddlers

It's a little lengthy but well worth the read. Especially if you are like me and wondering what happened to your marriage after kids...

what I miss most (part II)

You know what else I miss most about being single?

Flirting.

You see, I was a dang. good. flirt. I practically oozed hair flips, teasing smiles, and batting eyes from my pores, I swear it (ask Aubrey, she was there for it all). Being more then a bit of a coquette came so naturally to me, it might as well have been breathing. You see, not only was I good at it, but I absolutely loved doing it. Apparently, as the comments from my last what I miss most post led me to believe, so did a whole heck of a lot of you.

I adored the kind of flirting that Jennae mentioned in her comment, the casual flirting with the waiter, random guy at the store, etc. It was such a rush to know that someone found you funny, attractive, and put an extra bounce in my step (or should I say swing in my walk? ;). Then, of course, there was the more serious sort of flirting...the kind you did with a boyfriend or a friend you'd hope would become something more. That was the type of flirting where I pulled out all the stops. It was completely exhilarating...and often led to the type of butterfly-inducing make-out sessions that MeKayla and Liberty mentioned in their comments. The whole thing would just make me feel dazzling, beautiful, and witty. I would just sit back and soak the whole experience up like a sponge.

Now, for some reason, it's just not the same. Don't get me wrong, I'm still head-over-heels in love with my husband. He'll still occasionally chase me around the kitchen with water in his mouth and I've been known to put notes in his lunch (and not just to chew him out because he forgot to take out the garbage...again), but somehow the glitter of flirting is gone. I think, like Catherine alluded to in her comment, the surprise and suspense has pretty much gone...to the bedroom, that is ;) Not to be overt, but I think the fact that there is an actual ending to the game makes the whole thing a lot harder to play. I think I'm just less motivated to pull out my big flirting guns when I know that the end is going to be the same regardless of how hard I work to get it there. I like to hope, however, that maybe, just maybe I can bring this one back a little into things. Maybe a few more real live, out of the house dates and a few less TV shows while wearing pajamas might make a difference. A girl can dream, right?

what I miss most (part I)

You know what I miss most about being single?

Dancing.

Now I'm not talking professional or even serious dancing...just the "getting your groove on" type. Serious or not, however, the mere thought of a good ol' hip-shakin' dance makes my heart ache something fierce. I don't know why, but it seems once I got married my opportunities for shaking my booty anywhere other then my kitchen just disappeared. I can count on one hand how many time I've done real-live public dancing since tying the know. O.n.e. h.a.n.d. folks, in over 6 years of marriage. Coming from someone who would go to at least one official dance a month in my single days (not to mention the innumerable spontaneous dances that seem to pop up like daisies when you're young), that is a drastic drop. I don't know that things are really going to change anytime soon. As I wasn't really the clubbing type pre-marriage (most of mine were done at at church or school functions or friends' houses), it seems a little silly to start that up three kids later. I've toyed with the idea of trying out a dance class (I just looove the idea of belly dancing), but lack of money and time have always kiboshed that. Really, though, it's not organized dancing I'm looking for. Instead, I long for the times when I could stand in a crowd of hot, sticky bodies and let the music move my body. Hip-hop, techno, country, oldies, even the ever-difficult-to-dance-to alternative...I loved and still love them all. And so, 6 years into my dance-less existence, I find myself, like a sneaky addict, trying to get a few mini-hits in when I can (in the car on the way to preschool, next to the stove stirring dinner, in my bedroom while getting dressed)...and still mourning the loss of it all.


How 'bout y'all? What do you miss most?

Date Night Dilemma

A friend and I have recently started up a casual babysitting swap. She has three kids, I have three kids, all roughly the same age who manage to get along as well as any 6 kids can, ages 5 and under. We have similar parenting styles, our kids have similar temperaments, not to mention similar schedules too. It's pretty much a match made in heaven. There has been one bump in the road that I didn't plan on, however...

What exactly is one suppose to do when given the chance to have a regular date night? For so long, darling husband and I have only really gone out for planned events (get-togethers, long-awaited movie releases, holidays, family events, that sort of thing). So, when left with a few hours on our own...we end up semi-stumped. There's the ever-present option of dinner out or a movie, but those get old quick (not to mention pricey). I used to think I loved window-shopping on dates, but that was until I had no money and realized window-shopping is not all that fun when you take the shopping part out of the equation. So, what's a girl to do?

What do y'all do on the rare kids-free evening? Also, if you are in the Kansas City area, are there any fun places specifically that you think are worth the occasional splurge? Really, any suggestions (or commiserations) would be greatly appreciated!

Just don't call it Puppy Love

Lately, it seems I've been musing a lot on all my old high school flames. Not necessarily in the Brian Adams, Summer of '69, "Those were the best days of my life" sort of way, more of the Garth Brooks, "Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers" variety. I'll hear Blink 182's First Date (I know, I know, enough with the songs already) or someone who resembles an old boyfriend (I was at this tiny, hole in the wall, Chinese restaurant the other day and I saw some tall, skinny teenage boy who had a loping, swinging gait and it killed me how much he reminded me of my first love)...and I'll just remember. It's hard not to, I suppose, when you have all the typical high highs and low lows of teenagehood...and then some. You see, not only was I a serial dater, but I was the serial serious relationship kind of dater. I really, truly fell head over feet (nearly) every single time I professed I did.

I sometimes feel kind of sorry for the poor boys who wooed me so. They didn't know they were getting themselves stuck in a huge, boiling vat of tumultuous emotions. I know it's a cliche to say that girls are more emotionally mature then boys, but I'm still sayin' it. I was so much more ready for a Serious Commitment then the poor boys I fell for. So, when they said they loved me...I believed it. And then when they stopped saying it, I took it really, really, reeeealllly hard.

"So, what's your point?" some might ask. "Why the walk down memory lane?" Well, partly I just like to hear myself think out loud. But, aside from that, there are three conclusions I've come to in my recent musings on Exs.

#1. I'm really, really worried for my girls. I don't know if there are many mothers out there who stay up late at night worrying about when their toddler girls hit the dating years, but I do. They'll just be so vulnerable with their rose tinted glasses and their high, in the sky, apple pie hopes. And, well, teenage boys, with their raging hormones and just in the moment mentality, can be really (unintentionally or otherwise) cruel. I can only pray that my girls decide to ignore boys (other than the necessary Prom date, of course) for the entirety of their high school years. I have two very pretty, vivacious girls (if I do say so myself), so I know that's a slim chance. If they do decide to date and even *gasp* fall hard for a guy, I just hope they'll trust me to listen and allow me to help pick up the pieces of their spirit when it ends.

#2. Despite what it might sound like, I don't really regret 99% of those relationships. Here's another cliche for you, but I learned so much from those star crossed loves. Not only did I learn about relationships, but I learned all about myself and what I needed in the guy I was going to spend forever with. So, when I found a guy who was worth keeping, a guy who had the potential to be my better half, I kept him. There's a running joke in my family that I dragged my husband into marriage, kicking and screaming. While that's not mostly true, it's also not a complete falsehood, either. Basically I found a fabulous guy who actually thought I was kinda, sorta fabulous too and I hung on. I stuck it out and waited around for him to decide he wanted to marry me. I put up with all his temporary indecision because, after multiple doomed relationships, I knew I had found a guy worth waiting for.

Lastly...
#3. I'm really, reeeallly glad I'm on the other side of things. I'm glad that I can honestly say to all those poor, immature boys who crushed my heart under their converse-clad soles that I am so. happy. with how things ended up. That things are going smashingly for me. I have 3 beautiful, fabulous children who resemble my handsome husband, a husband that actually values me, who thinks I'm beautiful and wonderful...not to mention the fact that I look pretty darn good for having had 3 babies so close together. I loved those boys with all of my heart and soul, each and every one of them, but at the end of the day, I'm so, so, SO glad I didn't marry any of them.

How about y'all? Do you worry about your future teenage children? Any songs or sights that take you right back? Am I the only one who thinks about these sorts of things?

Mommy and Daddy Jobs

I had an interesting conversation with my oldest the other day (he's four). I was explaining how he wasn't allowed to crack the egg in the bowl while we were baking, because it was a Mommy Job (a fairly common term around our house). He clarified that cracking eggs was a Mommy Job and a Daddy Job (which is also a fairly common response of his). Curious, I asked him if there were any jobs that were just Mommy Jobs in his opinion, not Mommy and Daddy Jobs. He thought for a few moments and replied that there weren't, that there were just Mommy and Daddy Jobs.

This got me thinking. I'm raising my children in a fairly traditional household. I stay home with the kids, my husband brings home the bacon. He mows the lawn, I make dinner, etc. However, I think there are some strong differences from previous generations of parents and households. My husband is really and truly involved with our three small children. I don't mean he just waltzes in from work, plays a game of tickle, pats heads all around, and puts his feet up. Oh no, my darling husband is a 100% parent when he's home. That mean he deals with dinnertime tantrums, folds the laundry, bakes bread, puts the little ones to bed, and changes bottoms...and he doesn't even have to ask me where we keep the diaper cream and extra wet wipes. When I'm sick or have a new baby, he doesn't hesitate to step in and take care of everything. Even if my daughters' bows don't match their outfits, he still attempts. While it's true that I do a majority of the housework simply because I'm home during the day, there isn't anything he won't do, given the time and opportunity.

You know what, I gotta say I'm really, really glad that's the way it is in my house. I'm happy that I'm raising a son who believes that Daddys can do anything that Mommys can and vise-versa, yet with the most important traditional roles still in place. That was a huge priority to me when I started a family and I'm pleased that that's one thing I'm accomplishing on my to-teach list. Next up...world peace and potty training ;)



I promise this post isn't just to brag on my fabulous husband (although heaven knows I do plenty of that), instead I have a question for y'all. Is there separate Mommy Jobs and Daddy Jobs in your house or is there just Mommy and Daddy Jobs? Is there anything on you or your hubby's Won't Do list?

Favorite Things

Do you have a few favorite things that you are convinced just make your life so much easier? You know, things that maybe you could do yourself or should probably buy generic brand but you find it's so worth splurging for.

I found one of those things. Disposable toilet bowl cleaners - simply install the little gel pad on the inside of your toilet bowl and it dissolves over a period of time (usually a week), keeping your toilet clean with each flush.

The bathroom is the one place that gets away from me while pregnant and it is also the one chore my husband despises with a vengeance. In order to save our marriage (okay, that might have been a little melodramatic, but you get the point), we have totally bought into the quick, easy solutions. We also love shower sprays, spray down the shower stall after each use and fight mildew and other grossness. The bathroom doesn't need a good scrub down half as often as before, which makes my husband happy, while still staying relatively clean and smelling good, which makes me happy.

Other favorite things:
-Tree Top Apple Juice (seriously won't even consider generic apple juice after trying this stuff).
-Stouffer's Lasagna (so tasty and you don't have to do any of the work)
-Victoria's Secret bras
-Pretty much anything crafty because I am craft-deficient. I would totally spend $10 on a wooden sign that my best friend could probably do herself for much cheaper.

Those are just a few of my favorite things that make my life easier, make me happier, save my sanity, or just plain make me feel sexy. What are a few of your favorite things?