Sunday, October 3, 2010

what I miss most (part II)

You know what else I miss most about being single?


You see, I was a dang. good. flirt. I practically oozed hair flips, teasing smiles, and batting eyes from my pores, I swear it (ask Aubrey, she was there for it all). Being more then a bit of a coquette came so naturally to me, it might as well have been breathing. You see, not only was I good at it, but I absolutely loved doing it. Apparently, as the comments from my last what I miss most post led me to believe, so did a whole heck of a lot of you.

I adored the kind of flirting that Jennae mentioned in her comment, the casual flirting with the waiter, random guy at the store, etc. It was such a rush to know that someone found you funny, attractive, and put an extra bounce in my step (or should I say swing in my walk? ;). Then, of course, there was the more serious sort of flirting...the kind you did with a boyfriend or a friend you'd hope would become something more. That was the type of flirting where I pulled out all the stops. It was completely exhilarating...and often led to the type of butterfly-inducing make-out sessions that MeKayla and Liberty mentioned in their comments. The whole thing would just make me feel dazzling, beautiful, and witty. I would just sit back and soak the whole experience up like a sponge.

Now, for some reason, it's just not the same. Don't get me wrong, I'm still head-over-heels in love with my husband. He'll still occasionally chase me around the kitchen with water in his mouth and I've been known to put notes in his lunch (and not just to chew him out because he forgot to take out the garbage...again), but somehow the glitter of flirting is gone. I think, like Catherine alluded to in her comment, the surprise and suspense has pretty much the bedroom, that is ;) Not to be overt, but I think the fact that there is an actual ending to the game makes the whole thing a lot harder to play. I think I'm just less motivated to pull out my big flirting guns when I know that the end is going to be the same regardless of how hard I work to get it there. I like to hope, however, that maybe, just maybe I can bring this one back a little into things. Maybe a few more real live, out of the house dates and a few less TV shows while wearing pajamas might make a difference. A girl can dream, right?


  1. Can I be honest?? Thinking of you being an overt flirt makes me cringe (just a little bit). I guess it's hard to hear how flirty my little sister was as a teen. Not that I didn't know... ;)
    I was going to respond to the last post, but didn't get around to it. (sorry!) Let's see...what I miss most. I think one of the things that I miss the most about being single is the excitment before a date. I loved to get ready, plan my outfit...the whole whir of excitment beforehand. It just isn't the same when you live with your "date". Also, like Lib, I sometimes miss being able to worry about "number one". Not that I would trade my life for anything and I really, truly love doting on my kids. Looking back I just don't think that I fully appreciated worrying about just me and my needs and wants. I guess that comes with the territory of hind-sight.

  2. oh girls, flirt, dance, make love in a hammock. okay I don't know about the last one. I've been married for 26 years. I LOVE to flirt w/ my husband. even now. I love to pinch his butt in public, talk naughty to each other in a resturuant. Dance in the living room when the kids are watching. call him at work and say flirty things to him. the sex isn't the most important thing in a's the flirting that takes place.
    I had a colleague at work ask me if I was a newlywed because my husband and I still hold hands. I told her "no, we've been married for 22 years". She couldn't believe it.
    We've had people say they love watching us on the dance floor at church dances because we still flirt w/ each other.
    Don't mourn the loss of flirting...reinvent it. and yes we were flirting even when we had young ones. Ask Aubrey!!

  3. This post is turning into "ask Aubrey!" Yes, I can confirm that Whitney was a shameless flirt. She tried hopelessly to get me to flirt. I often lamented that no one was interested in me, but my husband informed not too long ago that plenty of guys were interested in me I was just completely clueless and let's admit it - NOT a flirt. I can also confirm that the anonymous post (aka my Mother) was/is nauseatingly flirtatious with her husband.

    I do sometimes miss that feeling of being checked out, but let's face it, since I was mostly oblivious to it before marriage, not much has changed for me. If anything I'm a bigger flirt now, because I have someone I can safely flirt with and not worry about doing something embarrassing.

  4. I'd have to agree with Aubrey on this one. (From what Whitney has told me, we should meet. :)) I wasn't a flirt and am still not really a flirt. I married a huge flirt, though, so I've learned a few things along the way. I guess the only things I really miss about my single life are my car, and my former body shape. Other than that, I was pretty confused and sometimes downright miserable. I'd much rather be where I am today than be the lonely girl who never got asked out on dates. Oh, and my husband's parents are nauseatingly gooey still! It's interesting to watch, but a little freaky at the same time. :)