Tuesday, September 28, 2010

what I miss most (part I)

You know what I miss most about being single?


Now I'm not talking professional or even serious dancing...just the "getting your groove on" type. Serious or not, however, the mere thought of a good ol' hip-shakin' dance makes my heart ache something fierce. I don't know why, but it seems once I got married my opportunities for shaking my booty anywhere other then my kitchen just disappeared. I can count on one hand how many time I've done real-live public dancing since tying the know. O.n.e. h.a.n.d. folks, in over 6 years of marriage. Coming from someone who would go to at least one official dance a month in my single days (not to mention the innumerable spontaneous dances that seem to pop up like daisies when you're young), that is a drastic drop. I don't know that things are really going to change anytime soon. As I wasn't really the clubbing type pre-marriage (most of mine were done at at church or school functions or friends' houses), it seems a little silly to start that up three kids later. I've toyed with the idea of trying out a dance class (I just looove the idea of belly dancing), but lack of money and time have always kiboshed that. Really, though, it's not organized dancing I'm looking for. Instead, I long for the times when I could stand in a crowd of hot, sticky bodies and let the music move my body. Hip-hop, techno, country, oldies, even the ever-difficult-to-dance-to alternative...I loved and still love them all. And so, 6 years into my dance-less existence, I find myself, like a sneaky addict, trying to get a few mini-hits in when I can (in the car on the way to preschool, next to the stove stirring dinner, in my bedroom while getting dressed)...and still mourning the loss of it all.

How 'bout y'all? What do you miss most?


  1. Oooohhhh!!! I totally miss dancing too! I've tried to talk some of my friends into findin a fun place to dance, heck I've even thought about taking aerobics dance classes or aerobics pole dancing (just for the exercise right :) but it hasn't happened. I'm all up for crankin up the music and startin a party at my house ya'll! My kids and I love to dance when the hubby isn't around, but he's not too fond of the lound music and doens't move very well to it either (kinda a stiff board effect). I really do miss the groovin feelin! That's one that I've thought of recently! :)

    The only other thing that I can think of that I miss about being single is actually getting some real sleep when wanted. Maybe it's just the fact that I've spent the last 5 nights on my daughter's floor because she's been sick, but I miss a good nights sleep.

    Oh, and I miss the fabulous flirting and dates I used to go on with my hubby. We had some serious fun when we were dating and now it seems like when I "try" and flirt (operative word being TRY) it's taken as a joke, maybe because we're both so sleep deprived and ridiculously busy. Who knows. Yup, that's what I miss... butterflies when we talked and hung out, dancing like it was the last time to move, and sleep. Silly huh? :)

  2. P.S. I even catch myself watching all sorts of goofy teenage shows that involve dancing and singing (i.e. Glee, High school Musical, Dirty Dancy - the original and Havana Nights, and others. The hubby teases me mercilessly, but I defend myself by stating that if he danced with me I wouldn't have to watch silly shows. He just laughs. :) Funny Funny!

  3. lol. I still turn the music up and have dance parties in the kitchen with the boys and hubby, but I do mis shim slow dancing with me on the card isle in the grocery store.. we have to many kids to wonder where the are running off to to take a spin around anymore...lol.

    But when you asked what I missed the most, it is a good make out sessions.. that led absolutely no where, but gave you some serious butterflys... where did that go?...lol. Oh yeah now we share a bed! but it was fun to sneak kisses, now it is just different. Lol.

  4. I definitely don't miss dancing, but James sure does! You're welcome to come over anytime and join our dance parties in the living room with the hip hop channel on. :) (I just cheer from the sidelines) Missed you tonight, by the way...

  5. Oooh, love this post! I've contemplated belly-dancing classes, too! I want to move...it...

    I also was thinking I miss the flir(ing, where I really knew what I was doing. AND I'm being a huge copier here, I know, but I thought these things, too, on my own) I miss the butterfly making out sessions, too. Where, unfulfilling as they were, gave you anticipation of what's to come. It was the googly-eyed expectation of surprise in the future.

    I also think I miss real selfishness. Not that I want to only think of myself, it is just whenever I think, "oh, I really could use a pair of black heels, or I really would love another pair of flats..." I can't just starve myself to get purchase them. All my decisions affect my family. I would love to have a time where I can do, buy or think something and it only affect myself.

  6. I miss dancing too. Sigh. Although, I still drag my husband to the once in a blue moon church dances and sometimes make him randomly dance with me in the living room.

    But, right now, what I miss the most? The spontaneity. You want to go to a movie? Grab a bite to eat? Go for a walk? Window shopping? Call up my girlfriends for a late night movie party at my place, camping, jump in the car and go somewhere new.

    Now I have to plan it all. Is it kid friendly? Do I need the stroller? How long will we be gone? Do I have formula, bottle, food, diapers, wipes, change of clothes? Will it interfere with bedtime? Do we need a babysitter. Sigh.

    The funny thing is that I'm a planner and when single never truly appreciated the spontaneous lifestyle I led...

  7. Oh my friend. Do you ever know the pangs of my married heart! (We may have talked about this before.) I love to dance! I'm pretty sure I'm terrible, but I love it all the same. I can think of at least one other person who would join us for a dance party.

    I also miss being a teasing sort of flirt. The sort of flirting you do at a resturant waiter or in line at the grocery store. When you can get the guy to tell how wonderful and pretty because he thinks he can get your number, but he has bad news written all over him, so you never will.

    I don't now if this married or pregnancy. I suspect it's mostly the latter. I miss feeling really attractive, like I'm something to marvel at because I'm beautiful as well as smart.

    I'd also agree on the making-out with the butterfly feelings.