Monday, December 21, 2009

bringing sexy back

I was goofing off with my husband yesterday evening (you know, joking, playful banter, come hither eyes, that sort of thing) and I had an epiphany of sorts...

I've lost my flirt.

There was a not-so-distant time when flirting was something that came as natural to me as breathing. Heaven knows I'd bat my eyes at anything male, homo sapien optional. It didn't matter who they were: the potential husband at church, the awkward teenage grocery store checker, the extra-helpful mailman, or the not-so-cute boy next door. I'd give 'em a smile, a giggle, and attempt to make their day. That's truly what it was about too...making them feel special and having a good time. It wasn't sexual in nature at all, heck attraction was completely optional, it was just a whole lot of fun. I didn't even think about it...I just did.

Fast forward a half a decade, give or take, and you find me now. Here I am, married with little ones, and nary a hair toss in sight. Even with my husband, who I love dearly, flirting is something I have to consciously focus on doing. Why? When and how did it become so hard to banter and wink? Where's my wit? Where's my sparkle? I'm not sure where the flirt has gone...but I'm going to get it back.

But, you might exclaim, You're a married woman! So true. Don't worry, I'm not going to attempt to seduce the first poor man that stumbles across my path with fishnets and stilettos. I'm thinking more along the lines of bringing out the playful banter a little more often, smiling at the clerk at Target, and not being afraid to sway my hips while I push the stroller down the street. I'd love it if when my husband makes some less-then-funny attempt at humor, I'd giggle a bit instead of rolling my eyes and being annoyed. Really, I guess just want to feel feminine again. And that, ladies, is my goal. In the immortal words of Justin Timberlake, "I'm bringing sexy back."

ps-any thoughts or suggestions on how exactly one does that would be much appreciated.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Why Nice Drivers Aren't Always Good Drivers

We've all appreciated the nice driver who paused among heavy traffic to let you make that right turn so you could join the hundreds of other drivers slowly inching their way among the streets to their destinations. Courteous, patient drivers, who are alert to their surroundings make a happier world...

Except for when the "niceness" goes too far. When the niceness leads to traffic jams and car accidents. That's when I sit in my car screaming, "Just drive people!" I encounter this a lot living in the Midwest, where people can be too polite for their own good.

For example, if two people pull up to a four-way stop sign and one person decides to be nice and wave the other person on, then that's nice. The other person should continue on their way, not insist they be the nicer person and wave the other ahead. This is one way a traffic jam happens at a four-way stop sign. Another way is when four people pull up to the stop sign (obviously coming four different directions) and the first person at the stop sign decides to politely wave another person forward. First, it would be faster for you to just keep driving than it would be to be polite, and second, just because you were the first person at the stop sign doesn't mean you get to choose who goes forward next. Everyone knows that it is whoever got to the the stop sign first.

Next example, someone is trying to turn left or right onto a busy road and is waiting for a break in the traffic. You are traveling down the road when you see this person trying to turn. You should not then stop in the middle of the street to let this person go ahead of you, this is how accidents happen. First, the people behind you might get impatient and try to go around you making it impossible for the person turning to try to turn. Second, if they are trying to turn left they have a whole other lane of traffic (moving in the opposite direction) to contend with. Third, there might have been a pause in traffic after you drove by (had you maintained the speed limit) that the said person was going to take advantage of, but because you slowed down and stopped in the middle of traffic you have not only confused the person, but you have allowed the gap to close with more traffic! You have done no one a favor by being polite. (Not to mention the potential fender-bender because you stopped in the middle of the road).

And don't even get me started on merging! I will just say, pay attention and let people in, and to the people merging, speed up and try your best to match the pace of the traffic.

With the holiday season approaching let us all practice good driving manners. Be patient and courteous, pay attention to what's happening around you, follow the rules of the road (remember that driver's license test you had to take oh so many years ago?), and most importantly stay safe.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

We Are Golden Muffins

So, I was planning on ranting about the provocative Hot Mormon Muffins calendar. The "Hot Mormon Muffins: A Taste of Motherhood" calendar features 12 women who claim membership in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in vintage pinup picture poses. Each month also has a muffin recipe.

I was going to go on and on about the offensive way the calender's creator, Chad Hardy (the brain behind the controversial Men on a Mission calendar), is supposedly breaking down stereotypical barriers by parading about women who claim to be Mormon in next-to-nothing. I considered discussing all the different ways this is offensive to me, an actual Latter-day Saint mother, and how it drags the morals and reputation of the Church through the mud. Believe you me, I was planning on going on for quite some time.

...but then I figured y'all have already heard my opinion on the over-abundance of sex in the media, especially regarding women, and figured I'd leave the ranting to you in the comments. So, I threw that idea out the the window and instead, decided to share one of my very favorite songs and videos ever, We Are Golden by Mika (thanks Megan!).

I love basically anything by Mika, but this one in particular makes me smile. It takes me right back to the heady highs and lower-than-lows of the angst-ridden teenage years. Who doesn't remember dancing around the house with the music blasting? Whenever I turn this song on, I can't help but bounce around like I'm 16 again, much to my children's eternal amusement. I hope you love it even one iota as much as I do. Enjoy!