Yesterday evening, in the post-dinner rush (which is nothing like the pre-dinner rush, the pre-bedtime rush, the lunchtime rush, or the mid-morning rush, of course), Toddler mysteriously disappeared. I found her a short time later trying to wipe off her tongue with our kitchen towel. I followed her into the bathroom where she tried to wash out her mouth. When I asked her what was the matter, she informed me "soap icky." I agreed that yes, soap was icky, that she probably shouldn't eat it again in the future and went on my merry way. I know, I know, I probably should've been at least slightly concerned, but I had a Ralphie-esque from The Christmas Story picture running through my head enabling me to dismiss all worries ("It... It 'twas... soap poisoning!").
It wasn't until a couple of minutes later that I began to suspect a bigger problem. I picked Toddler up and noticed a distinct un-soap like smell on her breath so I told her to lead me to the "icky soap." Turns out what she decided to guzzle wasn't soap...but hand sanitizer.
Figuring now was a good time for alarm, versus my usual live and let live mothering philosophy, I called in the cavalry...Poison Control (bless their hearts, they've been there for me countless times). We went through the stats: up to .5 oz of hand sanitizer (she emptied what was left in the bottle) of 63% ethyl alcohol in a 20-21lbs 22mo old (yes, she's small) equals what could possibly be one very drunk toddler. In the worst case scenario (where she drank everything left in the bottle), she would've had an alcohol blood level of .12something. To give all you other non-drinkers out there a reference point, the legal blood alcohol limit is .08. Let's just say she most likely would not pass the Walk Down The Line test. Brent (nice, non-judgmental Poison Control worker) told me to watch for staggering, extreme drowsiness, vomiting, or even table dancing.
As luck would have it, Scarlett had managed to spit out most of the hand sanitizer she put in her mouth and the aforementioned symptoms never came to pass (thank heavens). While she might have been a little tipsy (there was a lot of "ooo, look at the sky" wide-eyed moments going on), she was not, in fact, completely sloshed.
We'll have to leave the shirtless table dancing for some other time.
How about y'all? What's the craziest thing your kid has consumed?