what I miss most (part II)

You know what else I miss most about being single?

Flirting.

You see, I was a dang. good. flirt. I practically oozed hair flips, teasing smiles, and batting eyes from my pores, I swear it (ask Aubrey, she was there for it all). Being more then a bit of a coquette came so naturally to me, it might as well have been breathing. You see, not only was I good at it, but I absolutely loved doing it. Apparently, as the comments from my last what I miss most post led me to believe, so did a whole heck of a lot of you.

I adored the kind of flirting that Jennae mentioned in her comment, the casual flirting with the waiter, random guy at the store, etc. It was such a rush to know that someone found you funny, attractive, and put an extra bounce in my step (or should I say swing in my walk? ;). Then, of course, there was the more serious sort of flirting...the kind you did with a boyfriend or a friend you'd hope would become something more. That was the type of flirting where I pulled out all the stops. It was completely exhilarating...and often led to the type of butterfly-inducing make-out sessions that MeKayla and Liberty mentioned in their comments. The whole thing would just make me feel dazzling, beautiful, and witty. I would just sit back and soak the whole experience up like a sponge.

Now, for some reason, it's just not the same. Don't get me wrong, I'm still head-over-heels in love with my husband. He'll still occasionally chase me around the kitchen with water in his mouth and I've been known to put notes in his lunch (and not just to chew him out because he forgot to take out the garbage...again), but somehow the glitter of flirting is gone. I think, like Catherine alluded to in her comment, the surprise and suspense has pretty much gone...to the bedroom, that is ;) Not to be overt, but I think the fact that there is an actual ending to the game makes the whole thing a lot harder to play. I think I'm just less motivated to pull out my big flirting guns when I know that the end is going to be the same regardless of how hard I work to get it there. I like to hope, however, that maybe, just maybe I can bring this one back a little into things. Maybe a few more real live, out of the house dates and a few less TV shows while wearing pajamas might make a difference. A girl can dream, right?

Just don't call it Puppy Love

Lately, it seems I've been musing a lot on all my old high school flames. Not necessarily in the Brian Adams, Summer of '69, "Those were the best days of my life" sort of way, more of the Garth Brooks, "Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers" variety. I'll hear Blink 182's First Date (I know, I know, enough with the songs already) or someone who resembles an old boyfriend (I was at this tiny, hole in the wall, Chinese restaurant the other day and I saw some tall, skinny teenage boy who had a loping, swinging gait and it killed me how much he reminded me of my first love)...and I'll just remember. It's hard not to, I suppose, when you have all the typical high highs and low lows of teenagehood...and then some. You see, not only was I a serial dater, but I was the serial serious relationship kind of dater. I really, truly fell head over feet (nearly) every single time I professed I did.

I sometimes feel kind of sorry for the poor boys who wooed me so. They didn't know they were getting themselves stuck in a huge, boiling vat of tumultuous emotions. I know it's a cliche to say that girls are more emotionally mature then boys, but I'm still sayin' it. I was so much more ready for a Serious Commitment then the poor boys I fell for. So, when they said they loved me...I believed it. And then when they stopped saying it, I took it really, really, reeeealllly hard.

"So, what's your point?" some might ask. "Why the walk down memory lane?" Well, partly I just like to hear myself think out loud. But, aside from that, there are three conclusions I've come to in my recent musings on Exs.

#1. I'm really, really worried for my girls. I don't know if there are many mothers out there who stay up late at night worrying about when their toddler girls hit the dating years, but I do. They'll just be so vulnerable with their rose tinted glasses and their high, in the sky, apple pie hopes. And, well, teenage boys, with their raging hormones and just in the moment mentality, can be really (unintentionally or otherwise) cruel. I can only pray that my girls decide to ignore boys (other than the necessary Prom date, of course) for the entirety of their high school years. I have two very pretty, vivacious girls (if I do say so myself), so I know that's a slim chance. If they do decide to date and even *gasp* fall hard for a guy, I just hope they'll trust me to listen and allow me to help pick up the pieces of their spirit when it ends.

#2. Despite what it might sound like, I don't really regret 99% of those relationships. Here's another cliche for you, but I learned so much from those star crossed loves. Not only did I learn about relationships, but I learned all about myself and what I needed in the guy I was going to spend forever with. So, when I found a guy who was worth keeping, a guy who had the potential to be my better half, I kept him. There's a running joke in my family that I dragged my husband into marriage, kicking and screaming. While that's not mostly true, it's also not a complete falsehood, either. Basically I found a fabulous guy who actually thought I was kinda, sorta fabulous too and I hung on. I stuck it out and waited around for him to decide he wanted to marry me. I put up with all his temporary indecision because, after multiple doomed relationships, I knew I had found a guy worth waiting for.

Lastly...
#3. I'm really, reeeallly glad I'm on the other side of things. I'm glad that I can honestly say to all those poor, immature boys who crushed my heart under their converse-clad soles that I am so. happy. with how things ended up. That things are going smashingly for me. I have 3 beautiful, fabulous children who resemble my handsome husband, a husband that actually values me, who thinks I'm beautiful and wonderful...not to mention the fact that I look pretty darn good for having had 3 babies so close together. I loved those boys with all of my heart and soul, each and every one of them, but at the end of the day, I'm so, so, SO glad I didn't marry any of them.

How about y'all? Do you worry about your future teenage children? Any songs or sights that take you right back? Am I the only one who thinks about these sorts of things?

Move over Mr. Darcy!

On the suggestion of one of our readers, I decided to watch North & South, a BBC mini-series. (Thanks Liberty!) Thanks to Netflix and instant download I was able to watch it over a period of days during my son's nap-times. It didn't take me long to fall in love with Mr. Thornton.

Yes, that's right, my new fictional crush is Mr. Thornton. Sorry, Mr. Darcy. You were amazing, complex, noble, and somewhat broody, but Mr. Thornton puts you to shame. He's not prideful, he's passionate, which in his case is both a virtue and a vice. He is, in my humble opinion, hands down a more complex character than Mr. Darcy. And you've gotta love Richard Armitage, the actor who plays Mr. Thornton. *Warning: After the pictures is a spoiler.*



Isn't he just HOT?

And here he is as the broody Mr. Thornton...


I don't know if it's just my pregnancy hormones raging, or if Richard Armitage is just that good of an actor, but the closing sequence of the story was one of the most romantic scenes every portrayed. The smile, the kiss, the emotion so plainly written on both Mr. Thornton and Miss Hale's faces was just incredible.

And so I put my very high recommendation in with Liberty's to watch North & South, and I ask, who are your fictional crushes?

Oh - and yes dearest husband, you are still the hottest guy I know both in reality and fiction. :)

Chick Flicks

My sister is in town visiting me which means shopping, homemade spa nights, and of course, chick flicks. I have a lot of favorite chick flicks but I think my all time favorites are:

Pride & Prejudice



I like both the A&E 6 hour version and the Keira Knightley version. Right now I lean towards the Keira Knightley because I simply don't have the time to sit down and watch the six hour version, and the six hour version is enjoyed the most when you are able to watch it all the way through.

The other one I absolutely love is Mostly Martha.



Seriously, one of the best movies of all time.

My sister, who's 15, loves Twilight...



And let's face it, we all have to admit we've drooled over Robert Pattinson at one point and are equally excited to see Jacob in New Moon.

What is it about chick flicks that make us all gooey inside? Even those of us married and with children. My heart still skips a beat every time Mr. Darcy walks into the scene and the soup tasting scene in Mostly Martha just makes me melt. It could have something to do with the smile I can't wipe off my face every time my husband comes home from work. I guess I'm a romantic who just loves my romantic chick flicks. So, I ask, what are your favorite chick flicks? Any recommendations for me?