Husband Fashion Woes

The other day, my sister-in-law said how she needs to fix my dear brother-in-law's fashion taste... I think my BIL is a rather classy dresser (especially his business casual clothing) and compared to his brother, my husband, he is a REALLY nice dresser. Her comments made me wonder what she thinks of my fashion... which is a LOT better than it used to be thanks to fellow-blogger Whitney who convinced me that baggy jeans and t-shirts should not be my "dress-up" clothing, but I digress.

See, my husband has two big things going against him. 1. He's an engineer. 2. He's a COMPUTER engineer.

Over the years I've slowly talked him out of tucking-in his t-shirts, wearing cargo-pants, and buttoning the top button of his dress shirts. His hair is a whole other story, I like his hair longer, and by that I mean more than 1/2 inch, he likes it shorter, and by that I mean buzz-cut short. So, today when I watched him sleeking his hair back (because it's "too" long) with a combination of water and hair-wax I realized we still had a long way to go. I couldn't help myself...

"You look like you are trying to be a slick-Willy." I said.
"No I don't, slick-Willy's comb their hair straight back, I've parted mine." He said.
"Fine," I said, "you look like a nerdy-slick-Willy."

Sigh. I suppose that is why I love him though, because he's MY nerdy-slick-Willy-computer-engineer.

In Honor of Father's Day

The past few days my husband has been dropping the following phrases randomly into conversations, or while watching TV, or at a quiet (ha, when is it ever truly quiet in our house?) dinner:

"I'mma firin' my laser!"

or
"I'mma chargin' my laser!"

Don't ask.

Really, don't ask.

My point is that it is a little idiosyncrasy that makes him more lovable. I think he keeps doing it because it earns a laugh, as well as a "you're so weird" look.

So, let's hear it. What do your husbands do that the rest of the world might find a little strange but you find endearing? (And don't tell me my husband is the only weird one, because then I'll know you're all liars).

Mommy and Daddy Jobs

I had an interesting conversation with my oldest the other day (he's four). I was explaining how he wasn't allowed to crack the egg in the bowl while we were baking, because it was a Mommy Job (a fairly common term around our house). He clarified that cracking eggs was a Mommy Job and a Daddy Job (which is also a fairly common response of his). Curious, I asked him if there were any jobs that were just Mommy Jobs in his opinion, not Mommy and Daddy Jobs. He thought for a few moments and replied that there weren't, that there were just Mommy and Daddy Jobs.

This got me thinking. I'm raising my children in a fairly traditional household. I stay home with the kids, my husband brings home the bacon. He mows the lawn, I make dinner, etc. However, I think there are some strong differences from previous generations of parents and households. My husband is really and truly involved with our three small children. I don't mean he just waltzes in from work, plays a game of tickle, pats heads all around, and puts his feet up. Oh no, my darling husband is a 100% parent when he's home. That mean he deals with dinnertime tantrums, folds the laundry, bakes bread, puts the little ones to bed, and changes bottoms...and he doesn't even have to ask me where we keep the diaper cream and extra wet wipes. When I'm sick or have a new baby, he doesn't hesitate to step in and take care of everything. Even if my daughters' bows don't match their outfits, he still attempts. While it's true that I do a majority of the housework simply because I'm home during the day, there isn't anything he won't do, given the time and opportunity.

You know what, I gotta say I'm really, really glad that's the way it is in my house. I'm happy that I'm raising a son who believes that Daddys can do anything that Mommys can and vise-versa, yet with the most important traditional roles still in place. That was a huge priority to me when I started a family and I'm pleased that that's one thing I'm accomplishing on my to-teach list. Next up...world peace and potty training ;)



I promise this post isn't just to brag on my fabulous husband (although heaven knows I do plenty of that), instead I have a question for y'all. Is there separate Mommy Jobs and Daddy Jobs in your house or is there just Mommy and Daddy Jobs? Is there anything on you or your hubby's Won't Do list?

Sometimes I feel like this:

P!nk - Please Don't Leave Me (Official Video) HQ
Uploaded by GaGa-Vision. - See the latest featured music videos.

Let me explain: I'm 30 weeks pregnant and this pregnancy has been very hard on me and consequently on my husband. I haven't had much patience with people and since I can't lose it in front of strangers or with my son, my poor husband receives the brunt of everything. The sane part of me, the normal part of me, says "you're being crazy, just ignore the fact that he is chewing too loudly." But the insane-pregnant side of me says out loud: "Stop chewing!"

My husband is extremely patient and loving. He is a middle child and therefore a peacemaker. It takes a LOT for him to lose his patience, but for the first time in our marriage I've pushed him that far. Of course, all that comes of it is basically him telling me I'm being a butthead. He's right of course, and I feel awful. I want to do something special for him. Something that shows him how much I really do appreciate all of the support, patience, and love he gives me.

So I have two things to request from our readers: One, any ideas of something special I can do for him? Two, And please tell me I'm not the only one who acts crazy...

P.S. The video is kind of creepy, therefore appropriate with Halloween tomorrow...

The Plague Among Us

Normally I try to make my posts light-hearted and somewhat humorous as an outlet for my creative side during the dog-days of child-rearing...however, today I'd like to discuss something I don't consider much of a laughing matter: pornography.

I belong to a small message board of Latter-day Saint (LDS) mothers, and recently, there was a thread about the level of concern pornography was for us as wife and mothers. I was absolutely s.h.o.c.k.e.d. to learn that over half of the women polled replied that pornography was of little to no worry to them. These women, all of which are members of the LDS church and know our leaders' great level of concern regarding pornography, simply didn't believe the issue will touch them and their family. I am telling you now...pornography is an issue I strongly believe affects everyone to some degree, whether it is your son, husband, friend, brother-in-law, cousin, or co-worker.

There are 40 million adults who regularly visit Internet pornography websites in the United Sates alone. The largest consumer of Internet pornography is 35 - 49 age group; those are not hormonal adolescents, but men and women with spouses and families. The industry is expanding at an alarming rate: in 1988 there were 1,300 hardcore pornography titles released in the U.S.; in 2005 there were 13,588, and the numbers continue to rise. When I searched the subject of pornography on lds.org, I brought up 831 results. Eight hundred and thirty-one. To say the brethren are concerned about pornography is a serious understatement.

Pornography is absolutely devasting to a marriage It takes what is beautiful and sacred and turns it into filth and evil. Pornography degrades sex. It dehumanizes the participants and those who witness it. The sexual side of the marriage is no longer just between the man and wife, but the man, wife, and playboy bunny he's been "seeing" on the side. It hurts wives. It bewilders children. It destroys families and marriages.

One of my biggest concerns is the apathy towards pornography and masturbation that is evident in today's society. Time and time again I have attended classes and read articles that inform me both things are normal and even natural. That as a mother and wife, I should not attempt to prevent and disallow these things, but that I should accept them or even embrace them. When readers and students ask how to counsel our children and help our husbands avoid pornography, we find no help, instead are accused of being narrow-minded and over-protective.

Our children are at high risk. The amount of pornography available is increasingly rising and our children's access to it, whether they're actively seeking it or not. The average age of a child's first internet exposure to pornography is 11 years old. As of 2002, 9 out of 10 children aged between the ages of 8 and 16 have viewed pornography on the internet, in most cases unintentionally. If you don't talk to and protect your children from pornography, who will?

I'm not going to claim I'm not telling you this to alarm you, because I am. I want you to be alarmed. I want you to go to great lengths to protect your families from this plague. This is an imminent danger that we need to address now.

While we can't guarantee that our husbands and children won't be exposed to pornography or seek it out themselves, we can protect our homes from it to the best of our ability. Keep your computer in an open area in your home and, if possible, filter it. Put uplifting messages around it. Talk to your children about what they're looking at on the internet and the dangers that lurk there. Keep talking with them about it. Ask your husband if he's being true to you, physically, emotionally, and mentally. Continue to ask him. Send a picture of your family with him when he's away on business. Help your family avoid the traps. I know these seem like silly, little things, but they will add up and hopefully, protect your family. You can't make the decisions for them, they have their free agency, but you can provide them with a loving, spiritual haven to come home to, giving them a reason and helping them find the ability to stay clean.

Women Seek Revenge

Anyone heard this story? A married man in Wisconsin was cheating on his wife with at least five other women. The wife found out and instead of getting upset with the women she called them and let the know what was happening - that her husband was a scumbag. She recruited three of the women to help her plot revenge. One of them lured the man to a hotel, convinced him to be tied to the bed and blindfolded for a "massage" then texted the other women to let them know all was ready. They then abused, superglued a sensitive part of the man's body to his thigh, and took off with his cell phone, car and keys. The man and offending appendage are alright, however, all four women are being charged with sexual degradation and the man has become the victim. (For the complete story click here). Is this right?

I know I laughed when I first heard the story, felt a little pity for the man, and then got to thinking. This man not only betrayed and conned over five women, he broke a legally binding contract with his wife. My understanding is that when a man and woman are legally joined together in matrimony they essentially sign an understanding stating that they will be faithful to each other. While this may not show up specifically on the Marriage License it is exchanged in the vows they make to each other. How come, when these vows are broken, there are no legal actions to be taken short of divorce?

My question is this: if a man or woman cheat on each other in the bonds of marriage should there be legal action taken? At the very least the couple should enter counseling, or the offending party should take some kind of "control your hormones" course, kind of like anger management. When there is spousal abuse the law can step in, so why not step-in when there is infidelity (which could arguably be a form of abuse)? What do you think?

Let me give you a few pointers, my Dear

Dear Husband,

It seems that our daily lunch hour phone calls are a little lacking, leaving both of us unsatisfied. I'm here to give you a few kindly suggestions. Let me remind you how today's conversation went:

You: Hello Honey, how's your day going?
Me: Fine. *sigh* I just seem to be having such a hard time getting things done...how's your day been?
You: Um...nothing much going on. Just, you know, the usual. How 'bout you?
Me: I don't know...the kids have been pretty rough.
[uncomfortable pause]
You: Well...um...anything else? If not...I guess I'll go...

And that was about all of that. Your desire to quickly get off the phone was oh-so-obvious. I realize you don't like to discuss the unpleasantness of potty training a 2 year old and disciplining a snotty 3 year old and juggling a crying infant, but my dear, welcome to my life. I'm not sure what you expect me to tell you when you call me-regale you with the joys of motherhood and quirky, yet adorable, things our darling, rosy-cheeked children do? Sorry, dearest, but not today.

Let's review that phone call again, this time possibly making a few small tweaks along the way.

You: Hello Honey, how's your day going?
Me: Fine. *sigh* I just seem to be having such a hard time getting things done...how's your day been?
You: It's been ok, although obviously not as rough as your day has been, from the sounds of it. What's the problem?
Me: Well...Toddler keeps taking her pants and diaper off, all while pinching Infant. Preschooler, for some reason, decided it's ok to show all of our neighbors his bare bum while he ran around the yard. [can you tell my kids prefer nudity? they do. it's odd.] Infant is also teething, which makes her naps nearly non-existent. etc. etc. etc.
You: I'm so, so sorry, darling, most beautiful and wonderful wife. You must be so stressed! [yes, real men do use exclamation points] What can I do to make things easier?
Me: Oh, it's ok. That's just life.
You: No, I think you need a break. How about I take the kids off your hands for a while tonight and you can get whatever you need to done/curl up with a good book/finish that craft that's collecting dust. Or, if you'd prefer we can go window shopping for a couch/to NY & Co and buy you a dress/out to dinner [insert any other fabulous suggestion here]. What do you think?
Me: Well...you're probably right. A break/take-out/diamond jewelery usually does a lot of good. Thanks honey, you're so great.

Ahhh, can you feel the love and happiness all around? Now, my dear, consider yourself taught.

Sincerely,
Your Loving Wife

Please tell me I'm not the only one whose husband doesn't have a clue what to say on the phone when I'm having a rough day.

"If you give your husband a PS3"

If you give your husband a Playstation 3, he will want Rock Band and all the equipment that comes with it. After he sets everything up, he will invite his friends over to play. You will make a plate of cookise for them. They will play for a few hours. After exhausting every song on the playlist, your husband will realize he is tired. He will want to settle down on the couch and watch a movie. This will mean he needs a Blue-ray DVD. Once the Blue-ray DVD is playing, he will exclaim at the poor quality image that your regular old TV puts out, which means he will want an HDTV. So, you will buy a 51 inch HD Flat-screen TV and surround sound. Once everything has been installed he will turn on the TV and start flipping through the channels, which will make him realize you need HD channels. You will call the cable company and subscribe for the HD package. Your husband will settle down in his Lazy-boy recliner with a universal remote and happily watch the ESPN-HD channel. While watching ESPN-HD a commercial will come on for Rock Band, which will remind him that he wants to play it. He will invite his friends over, and chances are if he invites his friends over, he will want you to make some cookies...