Husband Fashion Woes

The other day, my sister-in-law said how she needs to fix my dear brother-in-law's fashion taste... I think my BIL is a rather classy dresser (especially his business casual clothing) and compared to his brother, my husband, he is a REALLY nice dresser. Her comments made me wonder what she thinks of my fashion... which is a LOT better than it used to be thanks to fellow-blogger Whitney who convinced me that baggy jeans and t-shirts should not be my "dress-up" clothing, but I digress.

See, my husband has two big things going against him. 1. He's an engineer. 2. He's a COMPUTER engineer.

Over the years I've slowly talked him out of tucking-in his t-shirts, wearing cargo-pants, and buttoning the top button of his dress shirts. His hair is a whole other story, I like his hair longer, and by that I mean more than 1/2 inch, he likes it shorter, and by that I mean buzz-cut short. So, today when I watched him sleeking his hair back (because it's "too" long) with a combination of water and hair-wax I realized we still had a long way to go. I couldn't help myself...

"You look like you are trying to be a slick-Willy." I said.
"No I don't, slick-Willy's comb their hair straight back, I've parted mine." He said.
"Fine," I said, "you look like a nerdy-slick-Willy."

Sigh. I suppose that is why I love him though, because he's MY nerdy-slick-Willy-computer-engineer.

What young girl doesn't need a bustier?

Normally I'm a pretty laid back, tolerant, live-and-let-live type of girl. I don't feel it's my job to hoist my opinions and beliefs on other people (I can hear my husband laughing now;), especially as I realize in today's world not everyone believes as I do...but I really have to rant about something I find highly inappropriate.

I was wandering about the mall the other day when my attention was caught by these huge advertisements in a store's windows. The posters showed larger-than-life pictures of girls scantily dressed in lingerie-ish underclothing. I was a little surprised because I knew I wasn't near Victoria's Secret...and then I realized I was standing in front of aerie, American Eagle's under- lounge-, and exercise-wear branch. I was bothered by a few of different things while standing there slack-jawed in the middle of a crowded mall on a Saturday night.

1~The girls in the posters were obviously very young.
2~Said young girls were dressed in nearly nothing and what they were wearing could hardly be called age-appropriate.
3~Nearly naked, underage girls were posed very provocatively.
4~Provocative, semi-nude young girls had sexually-charged captions on their photos ("sexy," "flirty," etc.).
and finally...
5~This was all on the outside windows of a store geared towards young, teenage girls.

Honestly, my first thought was, "that's darn near close to child pornography." While I realize the poster girls weren't actually fully nude or engaged in sexual acts, the photos were still of underage girls who were dressed and posed waaay too sexually for their ages.

Then my thoughts moved toward the fact that aerie is a store that is aimed at young, underage girls. I couldn't help but wonder what message the advertisers are trying to send: If you shop here you'll be fun and flirty? How about, boys will think you're sexy if you're wearing our underwear? Regardless of their intentions, the message they're selling is SEX. I mean, really, most aerie shoppers shouldn't even be showing any boys their underwear, let alone buying lingerie! Statistics show that "when compared to teens who are not sexually active, teenage boys and girls who are sexually active are significantly less likely to be happy and more likely to feel depressed...[and] are significantly more likely to attempt suicide." Everyday, 8,000 teenagers in the United States become infected by a sexually transmitted disease. Not to mention that teen pregnancy is rampant. If anything, we should be telling our girls (and our boys too, for that matter) to say No, NO, NO not Go, GO, GO!

Instead, what's aerie telling our girls? No need to wait until marriage, or heck, even until you're emotionally mature enough to handle sex. Unwanted pregnancy? STDs? forgetaboutit. It IS all about being sexy and titillating and catching those young boys by the balls...and have we got *the* cutest pair of garter panties and matching bustier to get you on your way.

More Stripes Than A Zebra

Last week we talked about what clothes to wear, today we're going to discuss what's under said clothes.

Pardon?

That's right, girls...it's time to bare all. My guess is that 99% of our readers are mothers (and a BIG hello to Spencer and Carlin, our 1%), whether newer moms, veteran moms, first-time preggos, or grandmas. Hence, I'm sure you all have what's fondly referred to by some as badges of motherhood (also known as the mummy tummy, flat pancake boobs, more stripes than a zebra, etc., etc.). Heaven knows, I have more then my fair share...I have road map thighs, a chest that resembles deflated sandwich baggies (and that's while nursing, just wait until I'm not), and the saggiest, wrinkliest tummy this side of the Mississippi. I've tried a number of different exercises, but between a stomach-ripping c-section and skin with the elasticity of a banana peel (not to mention more pregnancies planned for the future which are sure to undo any semi-successful endeavors), let's just say that my so-called badges are here to stay. So, what's a young, semi-hip mommy supposed to do when the mere thought of her body sends her into spasms of revulsion and disgust?

Well...that is the question of the day, isn't it?

What would you do? Or, more accurately, what are you planning on doing? Are you going to try every exercise under the sun? Are you one of the blessed few whose body has remained relatively unaffected by pregnancy and mommyhood (you know we all secretly hate you, don't you)? Are you going to cling to your body shaper and wonderbra 'til death do you part? Or are you planning on being one of the 10.6 million women (in 2007 alone) who go under the knife?

I'll be honest, folks, as time goes by and my pre-baby best assets continue to become my post-baby worst, I'd be lying to say I've never considered it. Nothing major, but a little tummy tuck would go a loooong way to boosting my body-image. My major issue is that I have a hard time spending more than $10 on myself, so you can imagine how difficult it would be to spend thousands of dollars on something so superficial...and it is superficial, right? Then again, I often don't know how skin-deep it is anymore. If a body can affect one's psyche so much, is helping one's body look better truly just a cosmetic fix? Then again, if I give into my craving to look like I did five years and three kids ago, what's that saying to my daughters down the road about their own self-image?

What do you think?

The Mommy Uniform

For my much-neglected post, I figured I'd address an issue we have yet to discuss ~ Mommy Fashion. Some might accuse me of using an oxymoron (you know who you are...you're probably young, single, and chic, with big Jackie O sunglasses and a firm tummy), but I insist it is possible to be fashionable and a mom all at the same time. I might not be a well-known fashion maven, but I have learned a few things becoming a mom of three, three and under, while still being young enough to want to be trendy.

Contrary to popular belief, I insist being a hot mommy is possible. You might have had to sacrifice your manolo blahniks for baby food (it's highway robbery at .47 a bottle!) and have orange spit up down your back (caused by the aforementioned baby food, no less), but with a little effort you can go from this:

to this:

Lest you think it's just too darn difficult and expensive, it really truly does take minimal effort and money (because heaven knows I'm lazy and cheap). Here's a single, basic outfit that can carry you from at-home laundry days, to running errands, to that rare Girls Night Out. I fondly refer to it as, The Mommy Uniform. Let's start from the feet up...

First off: shoes. This is fundamentally one of the most important parts of an outfit. If you have fabulous shoes, you can get away with almost anything from there on up, so make sure they're cute. As an added bonus, most shoe styles are compatible with mommyhood. Avoid running shoes at all costs (unless they're cute ones and you're wearing fabulous lounge pants). I've seen many a great outfit ruined just because they threw on a pair of dirty old tennies. Personally, I'm a fan of ballet flats. They're comfortable and work with almost any outfit (if you're self-conscious of your legs, I'd only wear them with pants and go with something with height for a skirt). They've been around for a while, so you can easily find some on clearance. Just buy a couple and rotate through them and you're good to go. If you're feeling more adventurous, try out some of the fun new sandals out this summer or a sassy pair of wedges. Your whole outfit will thank you, I promise.

Second step: legs. As long as it's not too hot, you can usually find me in a pair of jeans (if it is hot, I'm partial to a jersey skirt). Jeans are pretty basic, I know, but dressing as a mom is all about basics. They're easy to move in, *not* dry clean only, hide stains well, and I don't have to wash them after a single wear. Sounds just about perfect to me. There's lots of different styles and washes, so don't be afraid to play around. If you're worried about your tummy, you can go slightly higher waisted (however, still wellll below your belly button) and hold things in, or go very low and avoid the whole muffin-top issue all together. If you have a bit of a badonkadonk, I'd stick with a pair that hits right at the hips, that way it's not too high, extending your butt upwards and it's not too low, leading you to spill out the top. In order to avoid the much-feared Mom Jeans, avoid tapered-leg, high waisted jeans at all costs. seriously.

Next: shirt. My go-to shirt is a basic (preferably stretch) tee. Crew-necks are nice because I don't have to worry about showing the world my goods, but if I'm feeling a little saucy, I'll go the (modest) v-neck route. Gap is, by far, my favorite (on sale, of course), but Target's Mossimo makes some decent ones too (they're usually around $10 a shirt). As an additional perk, both Gap and Target tees are long, so you don't have to keep pulling your shirt down (after all, you have your kids to do that). I love stretch tees because they don't lose their shape throughout the day like 100% cotton ones do, they're fitted, which doesn't add imaginary pounds, and they look nice enough I can wear them on a date (you know, once every six months or so) or to church. I'll usually go the solid route, but that's just because I'm boring. If you want to make a little extra effort throw on a cardigan for a little pizazz (or just if it's a bit nippy).
Lastly:accessories. I fully realize how difficult accessorising is with kids. That's why I stick to the basics. For me, basic means a pair of snazzy earrings. If you're uber-cheap (like me) and don't want to buy a bunch of different earrings, a pair of black, brown, and multi-colored earrings can carry you through just about any outfit. If I'm feeling particularly ambitious, I'll add a necklace, a long knotted scarf, or fun head band. Really, it is that simple.

There you have it Ladies, The Mommy Uniform. Try it, you'll be amazed at how easy it is to look like a hip, sassy hottie with minimal effort. The frump may just be banished forever (well...until your next bout of morning sickness anyway). Feel free to have your husband send his thanks my way.

ps-As a parting piece of advice, let me remind y'all of the perks of make-up. It helps you look like a less exhausted, less zitty, fresher version of you, which, after all, is always a good thing.