Monday, April 4, 2011

Hit me again, Joe.

So, I'm Mormon.  It's a well-known facts that Mormons don't drink alcohol.  Nope, not even a little bit.

I'll be honest, though.  There's many a day when I wouldn't kick a big ol' tumbler of something intoxicating out of bed for eating crackers.  Days when the destroying are acting up and tearing the house apart.  Days when I'm exhausted and unmotivated and the kitchen floor sticks to my socks*.  Days when all I really want to do is to (please, please, oh pretty please) take the edge off.

What's a sober girl to do?

I turn to my dirty little secret: s.u.g.a.r.  I loooove me some candy.  I'm especially fond of the straight-sugar types (nerds, sprees, smarties, gummy bears, etc.) to get me right to the sugary goodness point.  If I'm feeling particularly picked on, like during one of the 6-potty accidents type of days, I might steal one of my husbands forgotten mini-snickers (the man can resist the siren call of candy like no one else and I can't quite ignore the guilt enough to just straight-up steal 'em right off the bat).

So, next time you see me with a shot glass of full of jelly beans in front of me mid-afternoon when the rest of the world is indulging in a much-anticipated happy hour, you'll know why (although, more realistically, it'll be hidden behind some book or other so I can enjoy it without the miniature mob joining in).  In fact, you're more then welcome to join me and we'll get a little sugar-happy together.

Until then, hit me again, Joe.  This one needs to be hard, on the rocks, straight up, and any other unfamiliar alcohol slang one can think of.

Your turn...what's your secret mid-afternoon "I can't take these hellions anymore" indulgence?

*little known fact:  I actually hate wearing socks around the house.  So...the floor would then be gross enough to stick to my feet, which is even more extraordinarily disgusting.


  1. Ohhhh, you are too. darn. funny!! I can attest, you are a sugar junkie...and you like it straight-up, for sure. Hmmm, what to do to escape the afternoon crazies... Well, I often try to get out of the house. I'll take the kids to the park or play-land. Then I can let them play and I have a moment to just sit and zone for a second, then I usually call up my sisters or mom. If I can't leave the house I will often call my mom or sister still and escape to my room. If I'm not on the phone I will grab a book or the internet, sit down with a favorite treat and just indulge for a second and/or until there is blood, screaming, tears or destruction (or any combination). Often I just need a breather and then I feel like I can manage a bit longer.

  2. Funny, funny! I'm right there with ya! Today happened to be just one of those days. Imagine my disappointment when my only birthday wish was for a clam and enjoyable day and it was washed.down.the.drain!

    My favorite indulgence is chocolate! I mean, COME ON, I'm a woman, and what woman doesn't like her chocolate. I usually indulge right about nap time, when the kids are finally down and I know I'll have just a few minutes (usually only 30) to my very own self. I grab my stash of chocolate, plop down to watch my recent show and zone for that short period of time. It does indeed take the edge off and I feel like I can take on the kids once again when they wake up screaming from their naps (which does happen on a daily basis, not sure why).

  3. First off, I am a Mormon, too. Secondly, I sometimes find myself wishing I could take the edge off with a nice cold drink as well, Whitney. :) Maybe it stems from the fact that my Grandparents have made their own wine for years (they are not Mormon), and I love the taste of it when it is used in cooking. I don't know. Since I don't drink alcohol, I turn to chocolate in the afternoon. My secret? Put the 2 yr old down for a nap, put on a movie for the 5 yr old in my bedroom, and find a good HGTV show on my DVR to enjoy in peace and quiet. :) Bliss...
    Today, though, I put a movie on for the 5 yr old in the living room, and took a nap/cry in my bed. It worked pretty good.

  4. Lucky Charms. I like a good bowl of Lucky Charms (that I guard with my life from my marshmallow-fiend-of-a-son). Usually lock the kids -er, put them down for quiet time in their rooms and enjoy a bowl .

    oh and candy too (chewy sprees, sweettarts, skittles) and when things get really rough I combine a bunch of my favorite cookie ingredients and enjoy (both dough and baked).

  5. So funny! I, too, have an indulgence. It is kind-of sickening how much I imbibe in Diet Caffeine Free Coke. Not just any ol' DCFC...oh no, I like 'em big (44 oz.) without any ice to dilute and a couple shots of cherry and vanilla. Ummm, my husband laughs at the cups I have around the house. A person can tell if I've had a less-than-stellar week when there is one in my bathroom for water, one in the boys' bathroom for water and one or two stashed in the kitchen. Not the best week, 'eh? Despite the lack of caffeine, it gives me a little high. Carbonation? The stolen indulgence? Whatever, it works for me! :)

    Probably a good thing I don't partake of alcohol. If I get a rush from drinking DCFC, I'd probably be the one dancing on the tables and throwing my clothes off, with even a little tipple.