Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Where's a Confessional when I need one?

I refuse to clean our bathtub. My husband does it instead. I'll do the rest of the bathroom, just not the tub. * Much to the Mister's eternal chagrin, I drink out of the carton...regularly. * I definitely don't shower everyday, and sometimes only once every 3 days and just put my hair up the other days. * I don't typically change diapers when they're wet, only when they're dirty (although that only works because I have really poopy kids). * Sometimes I spend the whole day blogging, checking my email, looking up random crap online, and reading, only coming up for air to get after the kids and give them nourishment. * I absolutely loathe most housework. I can do it and do it well (my mom's a clean-freak, so I've been well-trained), but I hate it. * I almost never make my bed. * Sometimes, I wish I hadn't married so young (19). * I'm jealous of girls that went on missions, they seem so accomplished and spiritual. * I'm a zit popper (drives my husband insane). * I was recently released from my primary calling at church and was immensely relieved. I was going crazy working with kids nearly the same age as my own children, and with all the insanity that goes with that. * Sometimes I wish I could show off a little cleavage on occasion. * I pretend to be a good mom who doesn't want to over-schedule her kids, but really I'm just too lazy to have much structure. * I cook fairly involved meals so I don't feel guilty leaving the housework undone. * I'm a little crazy about the state of my tupperware area. Every lid and bottom has a place and shouldn't be moved. * I'm cheap to a fault. * I didn't wear a bra occasionally during my senior year of high school. It was my way of rebelling without actually doing anything too horrible. Now I just wish I still had the boobs for it. * I'm insane when it comes to matching colors. I'll notice a non-matcher item from 20 paces, I swear it. * I exercise with (minor) make-up on. * I secretly like my butt. It's big and round and makes jean-shopping a nightmare, but after years of praise from some black guy-friends I had in high school, I've come to terms with my posterior. * I seriously think my kids are the most hilarious kids ever. Sorry, but I really, truly do believe they're funnier then your kids. Well, unless your name is Liberty...then your kids hilariousity might possibly trump my own. * I still get sick to my stomach when my mom or dad calls me casually into a different room. It's a throw-back from my childhood when that usually meant I was in trouble and they didn't want to alarm me, causing me to flee the scene. * I prefer hairy men to those clean-chested, clean-faced type. Pretty sure my insistence is the sole reason Spencer currently has a goatee.* I think my feet, toes especially are beautiful. They're my very favorite part of my body. * Speaking of which, I think un-painted female toenails are ugly. * I adore candy. I would eat entire bags of it in a single sitting if given the chance. * My house is currently a disaster, but I think I'm going to ignore it and go to the craft store instead.

There now, that was cleansing. Your turn...


  1. I don't even know where to start... my husband just came home ( for lunch, at noon- which he never does!) to me sleeping in bed, the kids raising rucus in our closet and almost a whole bag of pretzels thrown across the living room floor...he told me i need to call the doctor and get my thyroid medicine changed (his way of saying get out of bed) i just made a sarcastic remark about him coming home unexpected to find out what kind of wife i really am!*.. I never wear makeup* i only shave my legs once a week, for church* I like clean shaven men, my husband has a goatee*I pretend to be a good mom who doesn't want to over-schedule her kids, but really I'm just too lazy to have much structure. *i do like to clean the house, but i hate being interrupted in the process, i have two kids age 2 and 4... that doesn't work so well- yelling insues* i am going to stop there because when my husband went back to work he left me a list of things to do... lol, i think i will get one done, and clean up the pretzels... Love ya Whit! Thanks for making my day!

  2. My hair is still wet from my shower because I really hate doing it, boxes are still unpacked because I've run out of steam, I sometimes think I should have dated more and kissed at least one other guy before dating/marrying my husband, I desire to look beautiful and put-together but I really am too lazy to put that much effort in my daily appearance, I think my kids are the smartest, cutest kids ever (there I said it), I'm obsessive about my kitchen (tornado sirens were literally going off last night and I was trying to finish the dishes before seeking shelter), if I don't feel like talking on the phone I won't answer it, I love reading and often ignore housework and children to read, I'm with ya on the candy, I wish my husband would help me out around the house more, I don't really have a favorite part on my body - it used to be my cute waistline and flat stomach... yeah...

    You're right, very refreshing.

  3. haha, whitney. Does this mean that I shouldn't email you about bedroom fabric choices anymore? Am I contributing to your delinquency? ;) Here's mine: I, too, hate houswork. I look forward to the day when I can afford some wonderful woman to clean it for me. We will all be much happier when that day comes. I'm super anal when it comes to table settings, the fork and knife must be on the correct sides, and the knife must face in to the plate, or it will totally bug me. I've even changed other's work at RS meetings just so I feel better. I currently really don't like my appearance. 3kids, a miscarriage, thyroid issues, and the worst gene combo of my family, and here I am. uggh. You are more than welcome to any and all of my cleavage any time you want it, whit. ;) I don't enroll my boys in sports because I don't want to be in charge of driving them back and forth all the time, plus I don't want them to grow up. I currently have sooooo much laundry on the floor that you can't walk up the stairs, and yet here I am on the computer being 'productive'. Oh, and the breakfast dishes are still in the sink. At least I took them off the table, right? I've distanced myself from thinking about clothing and colors for so long that I have no idea where to start now, and have to rely on my husband's advice. (although, he is really fashionable and is actually good at picking out my clothes) I worry that my boys are too rowdy in public and it stresses me out that they get out of hand easily. I have anxiety in big crowds and get very cranky when I have to be around too many people for very long. I hate mingling. I don't like the stigma of being a returned missionary girl. Everyone thinks I'm so much more amazing than them, and guys just assume I didn't serve a mission and some have looked down on me because I did. I wish I had had the opportunity to date before I met my husband. I had gone on a total of 2 dates before we got together (I was 21). I still feel insecure about this. I dream of being athletic and coordinated, but I secretly fear that it will never happen and I'll be fat and frumpy the rest of my life. I desperately crave a daughter, but know that it's out of my hands. I want more children now, but now we have to wait to adopt. I'm jealous of the pregnant ladies I know and have a hard time being completely happy for them. I'd better stop. but thanks for letting me vent....

  4. Ahhh, refreshing...and hilarious. You are a crack-up, seriously.
    Let's see....*Sometimes I reeeeally don't like my kids and wish I could drop them off somewhere (safe of course) and then come back and get them, ohhhh later. *I am too obsessed with appearance. Probably no one really cares what I look like, but I hate leaving the house w/o being put together. * I wish I was taller, thinner, tanner and had better clothes. * See, too obsessed...sigh* I wish that I was better at mingling and small talk. I'm not very good and I think sometimes I come off as snotty. Really, I am just anxious about the crowds and I seriously say the DUMBEST things sometimes. * Sometimes I resent my hubby because he gets to leave the house and bring home the bacon. But, then I really think about and I wouldn't want to trade. But, still a bit of resentment. * I wish my kids were the ones that sit and behaved perfectly and I didn't have to scramble after them. Huge anxiety issue here. * I don't like cleaning out my fridge and often my husband eventually does it for me because who knows what is growing in the containers. * I don't like showering becuase it feels like "I've taken a step backwards" in the whole getting ready process. * Incidentally, I do like the feeling of being clean and ready after a shower, though. * I crave another little person in my house and and having a difficult month because this is the month I would've been due if I hadn't had a miscarriage. * I am secretly not excited for the women that are having babies this month, becuase I'm not one of them. I know, so selfish of me. * I like to sleep later than a normal person should...and sometimes I do. *I wish I could run away to a beautiful beach and lay out and read fantastic books (sans children of course). * Alright, I'm feeling a little crazy 'cause I've let so much outta the bag...I think I'll stop there...

  5. This is kinda scary...yet exhilarating...*I scream, waaaay too much. I sometimes worry I'm screwing up my kids 'cause of this* I love a clean house. I don't mind cleaning. But I HATE having what I've accomplished just messed up so I either get really grouchy, or just don't do it that day* I check my email tons of times a day, just in hopes something interesting pops up and I can read it (oh and people's blogs, too)* I love my husband, but at random times don't like him too much (do you get what I mean, or is this another "me-craziness"?) * I love sex, but really don't feel in the mood lately* I'm soooo tired of being touched all.day.long* I wish my youngest would sleep without being held* I don't love breastfeeding and secretly wish my milk would spontaneously dry-up to relieve my need to breastfeed and make me guilt-free* Every now and then I think about what life would have been like if I had become a doctor like I wanted and "used my mind"* I worry about my boys and their futures ALL OF THE TIME--will girls think they are cute, will too many girls think they are cute, will they be strong enough to withstand temptation, will they be too strong-willed* I love my boys' red hair and how each of them are different* I secretly hope my boys are really cute and wonderful-I'm not like other mothers who think their kids are the best. I'm not sure mine are, I hope so, but I'm just not sure...*I often want to run away, just run away somewhere to be completely alone, or at least with my sisters* I wish I was beautiful, really, really beautiful. I know it is so superficial and vain, but I really wish I was...oh, and that I could sing* I'm tired of being mediocre in everything. I want to be great in at least something* I LOVE romance novels. I skip over the sex,'cause that's not what I want, I want the love. If I'm sad, I can read 3-4 romances a week. Awful, I know.* I love moving and change, but abhor making new friends. I'm not good at it and it is SO scary!* Ahhh, relieving, crazy thing is I think I could go on...and on...and on...

  6. oh my gosh.

    i hate laundry, and always have six loads worth to do...and six loads worth laying on my bedroom floor, clean, but unfolded. *i leave dishes in the sink way to embarrassingly long. *i hate fixing my hair, so sometimes i just wear a ball cap. *i'm forgetful...on purpose. *i wish i'd finished college. *sometimes i wish i hadn't had kids so young. *i hate hate hate it when my kids mess up a chore i've just completed. so i yell. and then melt down when my husband walks in the door. or i just tell him (in my rudest most pathetic voice) that i "actually did accomplish something today...but you'd never guess it"...
    *i resent that my husband has a "quittin' time" at the end of every day, and secretly wish i had an office that i could just "shut the lights off" on...and go home.to do nothing. only i wouldn't go home, i'd go to the beach, by myself, with curly fries, a milk shake and a good book.

    one last thing...i dont like making new friends either, there are few people i feel will leave the superficial behind and let their hair down. my favorite kind of people.

    and i also hate it when i find pooh in the toilet...and no toilet paper. always means skid marks somewhere in those six loads of laundry i still haven't washed...which equals STINKY.

    what a rush...

  7. http://larainydays.blogspot.com/2010/05/bury-me-not.html
    I think you would enjoy this.

  8. You're right, I did enjoy it...both the post and the entire blog.