I've always been an amazing time manager. It's pretty much the one talent I possess. In college I balanced a full class schedule, 30 hours of work per week, being the president of two student organizations, and a social life. Granted, I always had rings under my eyes and was super stressed all the time - the point is I did it.
But now, it seems like time gets away from me. You would think that being at home all day I could manage to get things done, but the opposite seems to happen. Whoever knew kids were so time consuming?! Seriously, I spend all day changing, feeding, holding, wiping, playing with kids. I'm not complaining - I love my children and would rather them grow up with memories of a mother who took the time to play with them instead of a mother who ignored them to clean the dishes. But, the dishes need to be done sometime. I look at other mothers and they seem to be able to do it all - and look freakin' fabulous while doing it. How?!
The worst part is that I measure my success by how much I get done. So, at the end of the day when the kids are tucked happily into bed, I look around at my dirty house with dishes in the sink, bills waiting to be paid, clothes needing to be folded, and I feel like a complete failure. I hear the voice in the back of my head saying "but you spent time with your children, and that is what really counts." However, all I can see is failure. How do you get past that? Or am I the only one who feels this way?
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nope not the only one... there are a thousand website out there for moms just like us! I have heard of flylady.net.. she has a way to get those things done so they get done here and there and not hours on end.. i have found that if I have certain jobs on certain days, i am more likely to get them done than if i look at the whole house as one big mess. ie. Monday and Friday are my kitchen family room days, Tuesdays i do the boys room & boys laundry, Wednesdays are bathrooms..etc. (that way if you don't get it done that day you are sure you will get it done the next week, plus you know what days are your carpool days, or your busy days and you can make that an easy day ie. the home teacher room)
ReplyDeleteplus I have found if i start the dishwasher before bed, I empty it in the morning and will fill it through out the day and then will be able to start it again that night... (I hate doing dishes but this has kept it simple for me) this method doesn't mean i always get the hand washing dishes done, but at least the silverware isn't staking up!
plus you can remember that you are doing what is best, good is to get this dishes done, best is to spend time with your kids..
P.S i highly recommend getting your kids to help, then you don't fell like you are neglecting them, make your three year old put away the silverware while you put away the rest of your dishes, or hand the two year old the tupperware to put in the tupperware drawer, or have them throw their toys in the bucket while you try to vacumme them up!
(sorry this turned into a long post..it is something we all work on very hard!)
Ahh, honey, I wish I knew. First off, you're so not alone. This is something I hear moms complain about all. the. time. First off, I'm not at all perfect and my house is always a mess, but this is something I try to keep in mind: I think, as with everything, it's about finding balance and being ok with how things turn out at the end of the day. There are some days when I'm ok with the house being a mess b/c I knew I was a good mom...there are also days where I let my kids scream while I do the dishes. It doesn't make you a bad mom to let them play by themselves or lay on the floor and stare at the ceiling while you clean the bathrooms. It also doesn't make you a bad housewife to let the beds go undone while you roll on the floor with your little ones. Balance...Aub. That's what it was about in college and it's still what it's now. You're just balancing different things. (((hugs)))
ReplyDeleteI totally feel that way too. It's hard, I feel like some days I really don't get anything productive done, and that bothers me. I have always been a gal who likes to get things done, but I have to continue reminding myself that I am getting certain things done, like raising happy kids, as opposed to other things I might feel I need to get done too. Who knows, maybe that's just the way it is.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comments - I've put some of your suggestions to use and in just a week I find myself more satisfied with my life. I will have to check out the blog Catherine mentioned. But seriously, I prioritized my chores so I'm not trying to do everything everyday, and because of that I'm enjoying my time with my kids much more. Thanks.
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