Swagger Wagon

While watching the "Dad Life" video from Church on the Move, I came across this video, and well, it was too funny not to share. Hope you enjoy it.

I Need a Reminder

Blame it on the heat, the close age of my kids, the constant barrage of company, blame it on whatever you want; but things have been a bit rough. When things get a bit rough, I remind myself all that is good and well with the world, or in this case, motherhood. So here goes:

*The smiles and hugs first thing in the morning. The excitement of discovering their surroundings. The thrill (and terror) on their face the first time they roll over. The sound of their laughter. Pausing in my rush to examine a beetle, splash in a puddle, and chase a bird. Listening to the babble and squeals of delight of my children playing together. Rediscovering favorite childhood past times such as playing in the rain and PBJ sandwiches. Watching their faces light up when you come home, or walk into a room after being absent for a few seconds. Seeing the love in their eyes when they see their Daddy. Reading them books. Playing trains. Holding them in my arms. Walking hand-in-hand. Watching them sleep. Feeling like my heart is going to burst from too much love.

Things I wish I had Known

A few of my friends are getting ready to welcome their first child into their homes and join the elite club that is otherwise known as Motherhood. It's made me think about what kind of advice I can give them, so I've compiled a list of things I wish I had known. Some of this stuff you can find in books (but if you're anything like me, you didn't know what to take to heart and what to ignore).

1. Things to bring to the hospital (besides the obvious change of clothing): nursing pads, nursing bra, feminine napkins, comfortable panties (especially if you're having a c-section, you don't want anything resting on your incision), and socks. Some things like feminine napkins and funny looking underwear will be provided to you by the hospital, take advantage of these and don't be afraid to ask for extra ones to take home with you.
2. Speaking of things to bring home with you: ask for extra diapers, changing pads, pacifiers, shirts for baby.
3. Don't be afraid to speak up for yourself in the hospital: if you're in pain ask for medicine, if you're hungry ask for food. Most nurses try to make sure you're well taken care of, but they are human and can't read your mind.
4. Wear your nursing bra at ALL TIMES! At night, at home, at the store, you get the point. Only take it off during showers, obviously. In fact, buy multiple nursing bras because the engorgement period can really make you run through them.
5. Set up a nursing station as well as a diaper changing station. Keep extra nursing pads, Lanolin, a bottle of water (you get really dehydrated while nursing), and crackers close at hand. You might even need washcloths and an extra bra.
6. Diaper changing station should include diapers, wipes, diaper cream (like Desitin or Butt Paste), and an absorbent changing pad. It's amazing what little babies can do.
7. Those first few weeks I would keep a basket for nursing and a basket for changing by my bedside for the midnight feedings. I kept an extra change of clothing for baby too, so I wouldn't have to rummage around trying to find some pajamas while bleary-eyed.
8. It's perfectly normal to not have a clue how to nurse - talk to the Lactation consultant before you leave the hospital to make sure the baby is attaching correctly. (Warning: they (lactation consultants) are very in your business and touchy, just to give you a heads-up in case you are a more private person).
9. Newborn babies make lots of funny, almost scary noises. Especially as they are trying to clear out their lungs of fluids. Remember if your baby is coughing and making NOISE then that means they are getting air, it's when they go all silent and purply-blue on you that it's time to panic.
10. Remember you're not alone. There are plenty of forums, blogs (like this one), and friends who are doing this too. Don't ever feel dumb asking a question or calling your pediatrician. OH and that's one more thing - if your baby is acting funny, and it's obviously not an emergency, and you're not sure if it warrants a doctor's appointment, just call the pediatrician and ask to speak to a nurse. A lot of times they can answer your questions over the phone and let you know if it is even worth coming in to the office.

So, those are just a few things I came up with. Let's hear it ladies - what kind of advice can you pass on to all those first time Moms.

A Message From My Father

My father sent me this video this morning. It was a much-needed reminder that even when the world doesn't recognize and appreciate the importance of motherhood and the hard work that goes into it...that our Heavenly Father appreciates it. That He sees us and loves us, especially on the rough days. That He wants to help us raise up their sweet little souls to Him, He wants to help us find the patience to last the day, we just have to ask Him for that help.

So often the world gives us a line about "being a mother is hard work," but it's just another platitude to make us feel like they're recognizing us...but they don't. They dismiss what we do, insisting that we should do and be more, that mothering is something we could just as easily pay other people to do for us, that we're not doing enough or that we're doing too much for our children. But, our Father in Heaven really does recognize us.

I guess that's what this video meant to me. That He sees me and recognizes the work I do. That when no one else is up with me during the 2am feeding...He is. Even if it doesn't seem to matter to anyone else that the floor is dirty 2 seconds after I clean it and the kids don't listen when I try to teach them...that He sees that I tried in the first place.

Thanks for the reminder, Dad...both my Heavenly and Earthly one.



ps-I know, I know, I posted this on my personal blog too. I don't ever double-post like this, but after having thought about it for an hour or so, I decided that this was too important of a message not to share with everyone.

Sometimes...

...my children just wear on me. They'll start in with their shrieking, whining, and bickering...and a weight on my chest will settle, dragging me down. They exhaust me. It makes me want to go hide in my room under my covers (which, in fact, is exactly what I do sometimes). I'll find myself begging, pleading with them to please, please just stop and listen to me, unable to muster the energy to push myself into the cacophonous fray. They'll cling and pull on me, crawling up my legs and into my head. Sometimes, I just want to peel them off like uncomfortable clothing, fold them nicely up, and stuff then in my closet. I'd take a deep breath and then go out to lunch, followed by some leisurely shopping. all. by. myself.

...for now, however, I suppose I'll just continue to rely on the occasional popsicle and the insistence that they must eat it outside.

So, when exactly did I become a Ma'am instead of a Miss?

...just wonderin'.

Buying a House

My husband and I recently bought our first house, and needless to say, I learned a lot. I thought I would pass on my new found wisdom (do you feel lucky or what?;). Whether it's your first home or you are a seasoned pro - hopefully there will be something in here for you.

First thing to consider when buying a home is the economy. The economy plays a huge part in how you negotiate, the prices of the homes, and whether or not you can get approved for a loan. Second thing to consider are your preferences and priorities. Both you and your partner need to discuss things like which side of town you want to live on and is it more important than space, how many bedrooms you want, bathrooms you want, and what is important to each of you. For example the kitchen is important to me while my husband wanted nice big living areas - these are the two things that make or break the deal for us. Have a firm idea of what you are both looking for when shopping for a house.

With that in mind here is what I learned:

1. It's a buyer's market, hands-down. We threatened to walk away several times on our offer and each time the seller called saying they would agree to our terms.
2. Even though it's a buyer's market, it's super hard to get approved for a loan. If you do get approved be ready to put down almost twice the normal down payment (especially if you are a first time home buyer, like us). The usual recommended amount is 3%, however we were asked to put down close to 6% (and we have a great credit score). The optimal number is 20% - you avoid PMI with 20% down.
3. Do not get emotionally involved, it's a business transaction. So what if you LOVE the house, if the seller is asking for more than you can afford, be strong and walk away.
4. Pay attention to how long the house has been on the market and look at the history to see why (if it's been out for over a couple of months). Our house had been on the market for over 6 months. This told us a couple of things, one, that we should ask ourselves why, and two, that the owner was probably anxious to get rid of the place (especially when we found it empty) which basically gave us the upper hand.
5. Be fair but firm in your offer, don't insult the seller with an extremely low offer, but do your research and know what you can afford.
6. Things that are negotiable: anything that is wrong with the house, this includes termites, crushed air-ducts, roof repair, etc. Also, you can ask for things to stay including refrigerators, washer/dryers, stoves and dishwashers are usually expected but make sure it is in your contract, and backyard pools, sheds, etc. Don't be afraid to ask for something, you are going to have to live there and you want the initial moving-in to be as pleasant as possible.
7. Put a clause in your initial offer that allows you to re-negotiate if the home inspection finds some major problems. For example, we said that if repairs came to over $700, then we were out of contract and could then renegotiate. This was a lifesaver as our inspection found termites, crushed air-ducts, and a few other problems that would have put a huge dent in our budget and made an already stressful situation even worst.
8. Get a home inspection. Termite inspections are required by the bank but home inspections are not. I would strongly recommend home inspections. Also, use inspectors that are not associated with the Realtor. Inspectors can overlook things so the Realtor can make the sale. You want an inspector who works for you not the Realtor.
9. Be aware of costs: you will pay a Good Faith payment usually $500-$1000, home inspections which can run anywhere from $150-$250, and closing costs which include termite inspections and appraisals.
10. Finally, and most importantly, do your research! Research the area of town, the neighborhood, the school districts, the going prices for other homes in the area, price per square foot, the size of other homes in the area, and have a firm grip on your budget.