Monday, December 21, 2009

bringing sexy back

I was goofing off with my husband yesterday evening (you know, joking, playful banter, come hither eyes, that sort of thing) and I had an epiphany of sorts...

I've lost my flirt.

There was a not-so-distant time when flirting was something that came as natural to me as breathing. Heaven knows I'd bat my eyes at anything male, homo sapien optional. It didn't matter who they were: the potential husband at church, the awkward teenage grocery store checker, the extra-helpful mailman, or the not-so-cute boy next door. I'd give 'em a smile, a giggle, and attempt to make their day. That's truly what it was about too...making them feel special and having a good time. It wasn't sexual in nature at all, heck attraction was completely optional, it was just a whole lot of fun. I didn't even think about it...I just did.

Fast forward a half a decade, give or take, and you find me now. Here I am, married with little ones, and nary a hair toss in sight. Even with my husband, who I love dearly, flirting is something I have to consciously focus on doing. Why? When and how did it become so hard to banter and wink? Where's my wit? Where's my sparkle? I'm not sure where the flirt has gone...but I'm going to get it back.

But, you might exclaim, You're a married woman! So true. Don't worry, I'm not going to attempt to seduce the first poor man that stumbles across my path with fishnets and stilettos. I'm thinking more along the lines of bringing out the playful banter a little more often, smiling at the clerk at Target, and not being afraid to sway my hips while I push the stroller down the street. I'd love it if when my husband makes some less-then-funny attempt at humor, I'd giggle a bit instead of rolling my eyes and being annoyed. Really, I guess just want to feel feminine again. And that, ladies, is my goal. In the immortal words of Justin Timberlake, "I'm bringing sexy back."

ps-any thoughts or suggestions on how exactly one does that would be much appreciated.


  1. I hear you, of course, I was never much of a flirt before anyway. But now I realize that my smile seems to crack my face I use it so infrequently (with complete strangers, my husband still makes me smile).

    As for suggestions, well, as you know my dear, I'm really not the pro when it comes to flirting. Winking at my husband at church, grabbing his butt at the store, things like that always help. That and feeling pretty, a little bit of lip gloss, a nice necklace. Most of these things I've stolen from you, so they aren't original ideas...

  2. HAHA! love it, and so TRUE! good luck with that, and if you figure it out, let the rest of us frumpy old women know, we would love to get it back too!

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  4. When I decided to bring sexy back (as a mother of 4)... I THREW out the "mom" jeans and headed to the mall for some expert advice/assistance in wading through piles and piles of denim. It was intimidating, but after a few hours, I found some low-rise jeans I felt sexy in. And, let me tell you...I feel sexy! Shortly after, there was a wiggle in my walk, a flirty little twinkle in the corner of my eye, even an occassional a hair toss. I'm me again! And, I can drive my husband wild simply by walking through the living room.

  5. I found a blog It is awesome. She has some really good ideas for dating in marriage etc. I ordered a Date of The Month kit from her and gave it to Dave for Christmas. I am really excited to use it.

  6. The Lund Five - thank you for sharing that website. I checked it out and loved it. She does have really good ideas.