Thursday, June 18, 2009

Confessions

I graduated with a Bachelor of Science in Business Administration Finance only to change poopy diapers, wipe snotty noses, and desperately try to keep my house clean. Whoever knew studying supply and demand curves, learning how to do amortization schedules in my sleep, and taking Women in Literature just for fun would lead to reading "Baby's First Words" and "Doggies" for the umpteenth time today?

I always had this glamorous picture of me traveling the world, studying abroad for grad school, working my way up the ladder at some hot company, proving to all those who thought I was too meek for the fast-pace life of Wall Street that I do have a feisty side to me.

I guess somewhere in the back of my mind I always knew I was going to settle down with some handsome guy and start a family. That's why I married my sweetheart instead of taking an internship with Lehman Brothers. And why, when my husband and I decided to expand our family, I had no problem wrapping up my education, quitting my job, and staying home with my son.

Every so once in a while I look at what could have been and sigh. How much fun would all of that have been? But I know in my heart I wouldn't have been as happy as I am today. When I see my sweet little boy smile and feel his little hugs. When my husband visibly relaxes after a long day at work because he knows I am happy and have everything in order, I know we made the right choice.

I don't regret my decisions even though I sometimes look back and dream. I have so much to look forward to in the future. Who knows? Maybe I will start my own business. (Which would be more pleasant than working for some stressed-out-caffeinated-crazed boss).

2 comments:

  1. Whew, just thinking of the knowledge knocking around in your head makes me tired. ;) but I do know what you mean. The much younger version of me had dreams of becoming a neonatologist and saving the world one baby at a time...now, my dream is just to save my sanity by the end of the day. Yet, my babies make it worth it (usually) and I will go back to school someday.

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  2. Oh, honey, do I hear you! Heaven knows I still sometimes hear Europe and the Louvre calling my name. There was a time when Rembrandt, Vermeer, Michelangelo, and Warhol were the only lovers I needed. I considered myself a die-hard Beethoven groupie.

    Now instead, When I dream of Rome, I imagine how much more I'll love it with my husband by my side. Hopefullly I'll be able to instill a love of the arts into my children, or at least a mild respect.

    We don't waste our passions and eductation, we just learn to redirect them and use them in a different way than we might've originally intended.

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