I've come full circle

I love the movie Legally Blonde.

Now I realize, to many, Legally Blonde is nothing more than a Girl Power waste of time. However, those that just dismiss it as another brainless chick flick with slightly less male characters and a lot more pink are completely missing the point. I was sixteen when I first saw Legally Blonde with my best girlfriend Aubrey. As we lounged in her parents living room, I found myself relating to the struggles and triumphs of Ms. Elle Woods in oh-so-many ways. Somehow, I saw myself in the sassy, opinionated, and chic Elle (without the boobs, blonde hair, or wardrobe, of course). So often in high school, I was completely dismissed because I was perky, cute, and waaaay more than a bit of a flirt. It was automatically assumed I was vapid and empty-headed. I can't even tell you how often I had people insist I was making up a word they didn't recognize because they couldn't fathom I had a bigger vocabulary then they did [insert eye roll here]. Who cares if I say "like" more than my fair share, that doesn't mean I can't be intelligent. So, when I saw Elle deal with the same issues, I guess I just felt understood.


When I graduated from small-town Stillwater High School (Go Pioneers!), it was so refreshing to go to an intellectually-challenging college and have people assume that if you were there, you had to be a relatively smart cookie. I really, really enjoyed that aspect of school. Even when I got married, had my first baby, and was pregnant with my second (at the young age of 22, no less), people still assumed that I had some substance to me.


I'm sorry to say...I've come full circle. I'm once again Elle Woods, with flatter boobs and un-fabulous hair (what I wouldn't do for that volume *sigh*). Now that I'm no longer in school and am at home with three very young kids all. day. long., I find myself being, once again, completely dismissed. When I venture out for the necessary trip to Walmart or even [gasp!] the mall, people look at me like I'm certifiably insane or, even worse, completely through me. I was on a rare Girls Night Out a while back, and I got all excited that the person ringing me up at a store actually *saw* me and even carried on a conversation, no less. I don't know if my girlfriend really understood what the big deal was, but now that she's a mom herself, she probably does now. When people do talk to me, I often find myself talked down to. I don't know if they think because I procreate I must be an idiot or what. It's like, "Hello! I do have three children, but I do know how babies are made, I am aware of birth control, and I do have intelligent opinions! Thanks, buh-bye now." Never does someone ask me about my opinion on politics or religion or even the latest bestseller, they just ask me about my children...and that's about it. Don't get me wrong, I love talking about my kids, baby names, and potty-training, but I do have a brain just north of my uterus. So, while Elle lamented, "All people see when they look at me is blonde hair and big boobs," I'm complaining that all people see when they look at me is overactive kids and the mommy uniform.

Maybe I'm overreacting...heaven knows, I'm venting...I guess I'd just like someone to reassure me I'm not alone in feeling like this.

Anyone?

The Perfect Mother

Have you noticed there is this insane pressure to be the perfect mother? No wait - not just the prefect mother but the perfect woman? We should all have perfectly toned bodies, great hair, beautiful make-up, clothes that are in style, we should be able to cook and cook nutritiously (because heaven forbid anything pre-processed touch our child's lips!), keep a clean, organized house, work part-time or volunteer or have some interest outside of the house, be educated, well-read, musically or artistically talented, a great wife and supporter of our husbands, and have a house that looks like a million bucks but really you hardly spent a dime on it. Then there is our children. They should be perfectly cleaned and groomed, be able to read and write by the time they are one, involved in a multiple number of sports, music lessons, dance lessons, art lessons, they should start prepping for the SAT by the time they are four, never act-up in public, never say/do anything naughty, and always be polite little angels.

Are you laughing yet? Yah right - that's not very realistic?! Right? Right - but how come we find we are always defending ourselves? I hear my friends do this and I do this a lot. "Oh, sorry the house is a mess, it's just one of those days" or "please excuse the mess" or "I promise, my kid doesn't eat chicken nuggets everyday" or "I need to work-out, it's just tough right now."

Well, I'm rebelling. I don't work-out because I don't want to. My son eats french fries because he likes them and I let him. My house is always in a state of mild messiness - it's just a fact of life. I buy stuff for myself; it makes me feel good. I let my child learn by play - he's only going to be one once, why pressure him unnecessarily?

I propose we stop defending ourselves. We are all human. Take a page out of your child's book and just be yourself. You don't find your child defending his/herself, do you? Repeat after me:

I will be confident in who I am.
I will accept myself and my fellow Moms just the way they are.
I will not defend myself against an unrealistic expectation.
I will be understanding and not judge my fellow Moms.

Who's with me?!

What's a girl to do?

I have zits. I'm also getting wrinkles. The fact that the two of those are happening simultaneously on my face is frankly, friggin' ridiculous and absolutely no fair. I blame the spots on my nursing mommy, post-pregnancy insane hormones (I'm allowed to be post-pregnancy for at least a year, right? right???). It seems I have the raging, zit-causing hormones of a teenager, without any of the fun ones ( ;) ;) ). The wrinkles are, of course, caused from having three children, 3 and under.

So...what's a girl to do?

I've been using my old faithful face wash and lotion, the ones I've used off-and-on since the ripe old age of 15, but they're just not cutting it anymore. I'm just kind of floundering right now. I know I need to shake things up and try something new...but as I'm extreeeemely cheap, I don't like to try new things without at least a recommendation first (what, y'all don't get a second opinion on everything from toilet paper to hairspray before you switch brands?). So if you use something you love that helps with either or both of my issues, I would just love to hear about it (or even if you don't and just want to commiserate, that's great too, you know, whatever).

Move over Mr. Darcy!

On the suggestion of one of our readers, I decided to watch North & South, a BBC mini-series. (Thanks Liberty!) Thanks to Netflix and instant download I was able to watch it over a period of days during my son's nap-times. It didn't take me long to fall in love with Mr. Thornton.

Yes, that's right, my new fictional crush is Mr. Thornton. Sorry, Mr. Darcy. You were amazing, complex, noble, and somewhat broody, but Mr. Thornton puts you to shame. He's not prideful, he's passionate, which in his case is both a virtue and a vice. He is, in my humble opinion, hands down a more complex character than Mr. Darcy. And you've gotta love Richard Armitage, the actor who plays Mr. Thornton. *Warning: After the pictures is a spoiler.*



Isn't he just HOT?

And here he is as the broody Mr. Thornton...


I don't know if it's just my pregnancy hormones raging, or if Richard Armitage is just that good of an actor, but the closing sequence of the story was one of the most romantic scenes every portrayed. The smile, the kiss, the emotion so plainly written on both Mr. Thornton and Miss Hale's faces was just incredible.

And so I put my very high recommendation in with Liberty's to watch North & South, and I ask, who are your fictional crushes?

Oh - and yes dearest husband, you are still the hottest guy I know both in reality and fiction. :)